My God Was Bigger Than Your God

When I was a believer, my god was huge.  My god could beat up your god.  My god could lift the heaviest things in the universe.  My god knew everything, even the thoughts of every person on earth, and was acquainted with every blade of grass.  My god cared for babies and dogs and the smallest of sparrows, and knew every one by name.  My god named  every one of them, for christ’s sake.  He made them. He loved them.  He loved me.  He loved sinners.  He loved haters.  He loved and pitied them, and hoped for their return to his embrace.  He was not threatened by them.

He was not threatened, because he was an immense and all-powerful god.  He made us come into being, and if we ignored or made fun of him he could take it, because he was the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, world without end.  We come and go, we small humans with our puny lives and our adolescent humor: my god had heard every whisper, every lie, every disrespect, every giggle.  It was beyond his merest notice, because we were like mosquitoes, to him: tiny little nothings, whom he loved so much still, buzzing, annoying.   Drawing cartoons of him, long white beard, stern brow, with some comical feature to diminish him, make him our size: a buffoon.  A big dumb papa, having made some mistake in our creation, ha ha, look at papa and his foibles!

Beneath him.

I pity the faith of the isil isis islamic state (surely I will not capitalize that when my god goes without)– what wizard of oz do they worship?  How tinny and flimsy, how cheap, is this deity?  Did the French Charlie bruise his tender feelings?   He couldn’t take a little teasing?  That’s lame.   And, sly, this one, asking a legion of mosquitoes (tiny little nothings) to defend him.  Sly, and slick: biological warfare, scary for the ease with which these pests are lured, with pink lemonade promises.   A phantasm of virgins, a chimera of figs and honey.  Die for me, little nothing, and you will see Elysium.

I pity you because when I was a believer my god was captain of the universe, strong and powerful, to infinity and beyond; and your god is a skinny evil prison warden in a bad made-for-tv movie.  Your sacrifices mean nothing, you will never have your heaven, because your god will never win.