Welcome to the World of Need

Hi!  Welcome to the World of Need.  If you’re new here, allow me to explain a couple things about the accommodations and decor, what will be expected of you, and what you’ll get for your efforts.

If you have recently left the working class, I apologize for the shitty chairs, the surly service, the crumbs on the floor, the bureaucracy, the inability to reach anyone by telephone, the hour waits to see anyone in person, the lost paperwork, the limited menu of options to help you, the need to verify every burp that comes out of your household, the good intentions, and especially the bad intentions.  While it’s our job to serve you, you will often feel that you’re left begging or yelling to get what you need, and that is a sorry state right there.  It sucks, and I apologize.  Additionally, we will ask you to do a lot for very very very very little, we will wrap it up and decorate it and call it “a leg up,” and you will find it very stressful and demoralizing.  I’m sorry.

If you have recently slipped out of the middle class, upper middle class, or upper class and find yourself with no options but to join us, and you walk in without the natural humility that might come with reduced circumstances and are in fact pretty arrogant about “not belonging here,” well fuck you.  Here’s why.  You likely voted for the shitty chairs and surly service, you grew the bureaucracy to make sure not ONE person got help who was less than deserving, and the result is like ten wasted man-hours to get one family the merest pittance of help.  You thought of the World of Need as a place you’d never be, frequented by lowlifes who want to TAKE*TAKE*TAKE, and then you try to yell at ME because there are crumbs on the floor and you “DID NOT WORK MY WHOLE LIFE TO BE OFFERED CRUMBS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON’T QUALIFY– THIS IS BULLSHIT.”  This is the bullshit you ASKED FOR, because help was for “those people,” and “they” don’t deserve anything.  “They” should be forced to grovel.  Well, when “they” is “you,” and I’m sitting on this side of the desk, BELIEVE ME IT’S TEMPTING.  Please take a seat and shut the fuck up, I’ll be with you shortly.